Two Options: Take Effective Action or Completely Let [ It ] Go
I'm standing outside the car on a beautiful Sunday afternoon about to head into a graduation celebration, when my partner says, did you lock the door?
He's asking about the car door.
Apparently, and somehow mysteriously, our car had locked with the key inside which was previously known to be impossible.
Ha!
What I know about impossible situations is ‘possible’ exists therein.
I observed the sound of his voice in my body and see he's visibly pissed, so there was a moment of tension in my body.
No, I didn't, I replied, my voice and throat tight.
Then he asks again in a slightly different way.
I'm not escalating my irritation, but I'm observing my body sensations, short breath, laser focus on him, the story I'm making up in my head about being blamed. I can feel my brow furrow.
Ruh roh.
If I'm not present enough to slow down, to slow momentum in this moment, observe my reactivity, I'm going to escalate our interaction. We're both in danger of more upset and then drag that into the party.
And, there's no pretending we're not upset. We are sense beings. Others attuned to their senses will pick up on our discord. We will infect them, bumping up their BP or assist in shallowing their breath and and whatever else bodies do when another body is upset.
We impact each other all day, every day.
I know he was trying to figure out ‘now what’ based on this unwelcome situation.
All the things were likely racing through his head - do we go into the party or wait to resolve, who do we call, is our neighbor here and if she's not, can she bring the extra key, or perhaps one of the kids can help us, Uber home now or later…?
And mixed in there was the HTH did this happen?
And…maybe there's a bigger problem with the car, oh no, we're headed on a long-distance trip, and so on…the shit rainbow continues to shine…!
Does this situation feel familiar?
And, yes, this isn't the biggest upset, but you know small upsets can quickly morph given the right conditions (i.e., the other person is stressed about something else and you unknowingly add the spark to further your upsets!).
Oy.
But the smaller issues in life are useful to observe reactivity to practice for the big ones!
Practice what exactly, you may be asking?
Holistic Leadership Development
The skills I teach to help you - a leader of a business, team or organization - to notice your upset or resistance to a situation and then USE the reactivity to be calm, clear, and present.
A recent client said this:
"...the health of this organization will depend on the speed of me dropping into presence. i really believe this. If i don't get my own shit together, this organization won't exist."
You want to thank the mundane, ordinary things in life that cause you to create body symptoms.
Those are good practice and good compost!
We tend to let them pile up and also unintentionally affect (or infect) other people, which no one wants to do intentionally.
But, when something big and important stressor comes along, ones of real consequence, you then apply the same set of simple, powerful skills because you've been practicing with ordinary ones.
These practices are for personal or business situations because you are a human being everywhere you take yourself.
These skills are useful for your ENTIRE life in the areas that matter greatly to you.
In a flash of a moment, looking above my partner's head, seeing the golden light of early evening sun, the tall trees lining the street, the beautiful, blooming flowers everywhere, the lovely breeze…I thought we're with people who can likely help.
And, noting we weren't in any imminent, and I let my irritation go.
Situations you don’t like, as far as resolving them, comes down to this: take effective action or completely let it go.
How? This was intentional and was practicing what I teach.
We were at celebration and I wasn't about to bring our issue in or even make it the topic of conversation.
Without much further discussion, we each did what we needed to do to further discharge any upset and began walking into the party. My partner is well practiced in observing his wise body and to also let go of the situation.
Upset and resolution all happened within ten minutes where we surfed our reactivity with presence and intention and came into smoother waters together.
Yaoza! Ten minutes? Imagine what four hours could do?
(FYI Ending: Our neighbors were already at the party but one drove my partner home to retrieve the spare). Hao la (already successful)!
There are many more stories I could offer on how to use the skills I'm so passionate about.
I could’ve used oodles of business examples.
But, if you’re a small business personal and professional run together. And, with over two decades of doing this work, you can’t successfully separate your personal and professional life.
My goal is to have organizations be more human - that we actually demonstrate care and concern in our workplaces.
As leaders, or as a an employee, like it or not, you're dealing with humans and their reactivity from mundane to critical situations at home, work and all the places in between.
Emotions aren't bad. Yet they aren’t tended to in a way that’s useful.
Holistic leadership means that when we work together, we're going to get real, which means deal with the most pressing issue.
If you locked your keys in the car, for example, before you jumped on a call with me, and you're upset, not dealing with that first will sideline our call.
So, we'll use it, and it'll be useful.
How you deal with non-urgent situations is likely how you deal with urgent situations. If you blame your partner for locking the car without being curious, you likely blame your team member for a project gone sideways.
That's what humans do. And it's a waste of time, breaks relationships and definitely costs you money.
We use any and all real-time examples to teach you how to slow down, to use the facts, the phenomena in the moment to get clarity so you can make decisions that will root and make a difference rather than throw spaghetti at the wall because you don't know how calm yourself.
And, I'll guide you in the steps to calm yourself in your subtler symptoms before you get to the stronger symptoms of upset!
I want you at this workshop because this will be effective and you will resolve an issue quickly. Plus, I've added 30 days post workshop coaching as extra support so the practices stick. This is an amazing offer!
My teachings are for immediate implementation and immediate outcome. Quick and rooted. This is power.
This work is crucial for the longevity of your business, or the cause you're championing, and for those you care about and love.
