Unlocking Peace: The Art of Mindful Observation
One of the most common sources of conflict are misunderstandings between humans. It’s the stories we tell about us, them, who has what, and all the emotions (particularly fear) that go with this.
All wars are started this way.
What’s not evident inside of conflict is the opportunity to see how you generate the opposition, how you escalate or what’s your part in it, and what you can do to redirect, take effective action, de-escalate and design a creative solution.
Are you breathing?
I offer people the opportunity to discover the genesis of conflict inside of their bodies.
Imagine the possibility of this one practice!
Think of conflict as inflammation. And practicing observing phenomena without story or judgment, you begin to decrease inflammation in your body and the bodies (human/organizational/community/planetary) around you! Think of the consequences of this one practice!
The past year I’ve significantly decreased my turn-around time from feeling reactive, powerless to action and powerful by observing my body's reactions more rigorously.
Here's an example. Recently, a client starts talking about how awful it is outside, “I hate days like this”.
How many days do you waste waking up and adjusting your body to what’s happening around you, ie the weather, your partner’s mood, etc.?
This is a form of resistance, and with friction comes heat.
This is an incredible waste of energy, thought, qi, and time.
We really don’t have time for making the weather wrong or absorbing the moods of people in our lives and then venting our complaints further inflaming each other about the weather or moods we dislike.
If you consider yourself up to bigger things, you know that there are more serious things that need your attention and creative solutions in your world and in the world for other humans.
‘It’s awful outside. I hate days like this’.
Notice your body….maybe you agree? But notice what you observe when you read those words. Perhaps you’re tightening your chest, jaw or stomach. Maybe you’re noticing a bitter taste in your mouth, that you’re walking, reading, talking faster? Or that you’re not noticing your breath or it’s become shallow. The sensations, when you slow down, could be subtle and ones you might overlook as ‘normal’.
[white space for you to slow down and observe :]
Now, what’s the observable phenomenon - see, taste, smell, sounds of the declaration?
It’s raining.
The clouds in the sky are a mix of white and gray.
The pavement is wet.
The air feels cool.
It’s wet outside.
How’s your body now? Different? Amazing! How did you do that?
The first body, unaware of the impact of ‘it’s awful outside’ is a body of opposition to what’s happening and wishing things were different. This is very common and not wrong nor bad. It’s not effective, though. Many people work inside a tense body all day because of reacting to something seemingly small like the weather. Yet, it won't be the only tension they create all day and then later wonder why they’re exhausted and have a headache.
Practicing observing phenomenon is one of ‘what’s really going on without judgment or story’? Very little, if any reactivity, right? Which body is better prepared to handle life’s ups and downs and all around?
My work in the world is for change-social, environmental transformation to make this planet inhabitable as long as possible. That’s big so I want to work with people and organizations that yes, of course, want their bodies to work better (be less painful/inflamed) but also desire to know that their bodies are wise and symptoms are teachers. Those same people I support have a big mission to affect change with kids, families, the environment…they have big visions and dreams. Honestly, we need to move better with our pain as we figure out what it’s pointing to and what we can do about it. I haven’t stopped having upsets or breakdowns but instead of taking that daily nap, I slow down when needed so I don’t need to sleep off my grief. I use it as I go about my day. I recharge during the day with this and eleven other practices because the world needs this work, and the world needs you, too.
I’ve shifted my practice because teaching these skills have way more immediate impact than anything else I’ve done to date with the exception of Zhineng Qigong. That’s a powerful practice, so now I have created options to combine coaching with qigong and acupuncture.
What world are you designing?
The game I’m playing is can I observe a dozen or more times a day to become aware of my body phenomenon? In other words, how do I create my reactivity?
Can I drop the judgment and describe what’s actually happening, ie, ‘just the facts, ma’am.’ This is agency. This is true power for real and lasting change.