Squirrels, Purple Pillows, and Pen Dots: Effective Leadership Skills

Ease and flow.

How does your body feel when you let those words sink in? Is your breath easier, jaw starting to loosen? And then….squirrel! You redirect your attention to the thing most pressing and you're tightening again.

What to do?

 

Well, I put a purple pillow on my staircase today.

 

Honestly, I could’ve put anything on the uncluttered steps but the purple pops, directing my attention when I’m sitting in the living room or walking up and down the staircase. It’s one of my reminders to check my body for tension. Or ask to myself, what’s my practice today? Am I being intentional about how I’m body-ing right now? If I notice tension, I remind myself I have a choice.

  

The second reminder is I wrote “E + F” in black ink on my left hand. I spend most of my day with my hands in my visual field, so having a reminder from elbow to finger tips is useful.

I used to use my phone, but the reminder got lost amongst all the other reminders.

I design my mood rather than letting the news, my clients or anyone else design it for me.

This is the one organizational development skill I practice the most and I still need reminders! I need to be effective and present to be as skillful as I am with my coaching clients. That’s what they’re paying for and I deliver.

  

What’s your reminder to show up calm?

 

I also shared my mood with my partner. Speaking it aloud and having accountability is even better. It matters because I’ll affect/infect others by how I show up - on my calls or on my errands. Everyone is affected by everyone. Even through social media posts, email, Zoom, texts and instant messaging.
 

And, it’s not solely about choosing any word. For this to be transformative for you and others around you, the word has to be embodied. How do I feel or observe when I say ‘ease and flow’?


Those words feel open and spacious in my chest, in my belly, and my shoulders relax down and away from my ears. I feel my face softening.

 

The pillow, the pen dot on my hand, those reminders are likely to become wallpaper at some point, so having two or more, and switching them up helps to interrupt my tight shoulders, my shallow breath, my rushing and remind me to practice ease and flow.

 

I'm not “in” ease and flow.

 

I’m not “at” ease and flow.

 

I’m practicing being ease and flow.

 

I've found that when I practice, not only do I feel the physical release in my chest and shoulders, but I notice a shift in my surroundings. Recently, a leadership coaching client mentioned with this one practice, during a particularly stressful meeting, her commitment to embodying ease and flow allowed her to navigate a challenge with a clearer mind and a more grounded presence. The ripple effect was palpable, and her colleagues responded with a sense of calmness, which created a more harmonious environment.

 

How come this matters?

 

For me and for the sake of my partners' young adults and my nieces, all young women is why this matters. I think of them, pretending they’re beside me, how would I want them to handle a stressful moment? 

Moment by moment, can I remind myself to be ease and flow? 

 

For the sake of being a future ancestor, practicing how to show up now matters. 

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