Here’s a Common Scenario: Effective Leadership & Responding to Workplace Conflict

Jan 17

Here’s a common scenario:

You’re headed into work today or readying yourself for Zoom meetings with colleagues or clients. Someone in your sphere is upset with you based on an exchange you had last week. You’re already thinking about it as you prepare for your day, and maybe you gave it some bandwidth over the weekend. Perhaps you were more distracted or tense, more than you’d like to admit. After all, you have important work to do, and you respect this person who’s now unhappy.

Effective Leadership Response Options: Ignore or Address

You’ve got options but they essentially boil down to two:

Ignore. You’re hoping the situation will resolve itself. In other words, if this was an infection, you’d slap a bandaid over it.
Or, handle it directly in a way that will restore affinity and smooth communication. Treat the discomfort (symptoms are wisdom) and aim for the root to avoid systemic inflammation.

For effective leadership, I like to use health analogies given my wellness training. After all, what I do is offer how to heal organizational bodies by first observing the physical, individual symptoms. No thought or emotion is separate from the body. Pay attention, add in effective action, and humans can heal each other for the greater good.

Case Study: Effective Leadership in Resolving Conflict and Restoring Balance

Recently, a coaching client of mine called in distress. She'd been upset over the past 24 hours - angry, exhausted and sleepless that was magnifying her upset. I felt it in my body as I listened.

The facts (not the interpretation or story of what happened) were as follows:

She was collaborating on a project. She did something to move the project forward. This action resulted in a collaborator getting upset. Texts were exchanged. Those are the facts. Not a lot of drama or reactivity here.

What was the issue?

The upset became observable as the facts were being interpreted.

Situations don’t mean anything until you give them meaning. Being upset is a fact of life. It’s the meaning you add to the facts that creates conflict. Much of what is at the source of conflict shows up in your body as inflammation or pain.

She was reacting to his reaction. And, upset spreads faster than a virus. We don’t seek treatment for it until it grows big enough that it can’t be ignored. In this case, it was spreading into her team and with her family. This was costing her time and her well-being. She knew she was not being effective in her spin.

Leading with a Calm Mind and Body

Within our 30-minute coaching call, she was able to quell her inflammation and restore her calm body. She realized if she didn’t mend this, one consequence would be a bigger mess to navigate and clean up. From designing pure curiosity, she reflected on a moment of hesitation, a sensation in her body that is trustworthy to get more clarity, but she dismissed it. And, there’s usually a moment like this for all my clients that’s crucial to notice. Observation in this nuanced way takes practice, but once it’s discovered, it doesn’t take long to successfully upend old habits and replace them with new, more effective ones! This is effective leadership.

You can’t lead effectively with an upset in your body.

I received a text later the same day: Thank you for your guidance. My body feels so much better. Bob really appreciated my call. This was great learning.

What I've come to know about my leadership coaching clients is that when they're fully committed to being curious about their wise bodies and practice a set of skills to help them have difficult conversations with ease, their bodies cease being in pain.

You have challenges that need short and long-term solutions. We all experience our personal and business life bleed together. I’m supporting leaders to effectively triage and get to the root within minutes on what often seems impossible.

We are all powerful creators. We need to be effective leaders.

Enrolling now for my 30-day, 6-month, or 12-month Fierce X Flourish. Let’s have a conversation for curiosity to see which one is right for you.