The Three Practices
I was watching a video about dog training.
The trainer was saying that a lot of so called misbehaving dogs are because they haven’t been trained properly.
This statement got me thinking about us humans.
It’s like that for us.
We've had years of training on being human.
As animals, we too learn and are influenced by our packs - our families, friends, education and much more recently, social media 'packs'.
And if something isn’t going well, I wonder if it's due to outdated/improper/incomplete training?
We practice habits that are useful until they’re not.
We might double-down on our habits even if we ‘know better’.
In other words, interrupting or unlearning our current habits takes admitting our strategies aren’t working.
And, you will know because your body will tell you with symptoms.
This can be tough place to be because likely your environment is influencing some part of the way you're showing up.
The ongoing conversations I've had with humans over my holiday in Maine have been fascinating!
Old, practiced ways of being in the world aren't working any more.
Stressed out humans have physical complaints of pain.
Most people I've spoken to over the years, including the very body aware, forget that emotionally tense situations don't require tension in their body,
But the tension could teach you to relax.
You know, could the tension be useful before you take the Advil or yoga the sensations away?
It’s hard to be a relaxed human or effective leader in difficult times when you haven't really thought of a tense body as optional.
It’s often because no one has asked us to observe the subtle things and ask, 'do I have any say-so over my jaw, back or headache pain?
Here's my three practices to empower you for difficult times, from tiny to major stressors:
Slow down - your thoughts, your movements, your speech. I can’t emphasize this enough. I say it ad nauseam to my clients and patients. This is so you can be more present, which is where all your power is. And, you can observe ‘fast’ and how that impacts your body and see nuances of #2 much more clearly.
Practice observing your physical tension without judgment or story. You’ll get better at this if you slow down. See #1.
Reframe your tension as a wise guide. The tension you feel is likely a request in disguise, or you needing clarity to inform your next choice. Your next text, email, the next thing out of your mouth will either escalate your tension or de-escalate. Tension is wisdom, and the path to calm and presence, often with a minute or two.
Practice the above and see for yourself.
And remember, rushing creates inflammation, but you can still move quickly and not rush.
Observing your body reactivity without story is useful in any environment - from work to home and back again.
And, what you observe you can reframe so you create some spaciousness around what's happening before you react, because likely you want to respond thoughtfully.
This is the world I’m building through all my offerings. Join me!
